There's something I didn't tell you back when you got here, mostly... mmhm....mostly because I didn't want to en-gage with you for longer than I had to, but also. I had to save it.
[ Rhys' smile gets wider by a few teeth and he snorfles, which turns into a vaguely sickly cough. ]
[ He crosses his arms, shifting just a little so he can get a real good angle on himself-- Vasquez is trying to show off the fact that he doesn't look anywhere near as rough as Rhys does, although whether it's out of an intimidation thing or what is...not as clear. ]
Well, if you've been waiting all this time, by all means! Go on ahead, Rhysie. Tell me aaall about your fun little future-vision crap you've gone and planned for yourself-- I could use a good laugh.
You might wanna start getting to the point. All you're saying right now is just...common sense kind of stuff. [ Vasquez shakes his head, chuckling a little to himself. He's definitely not gonna sit down-- nothing Rhys can say is gonna throw him off. ] Of course Hyperion is gonna get a new president, you desk gremlin. You think we'd just leave that spot empty?
Yeeeah, don't call me that. Know you guys thought that was a real funny insult, but the fact that it took like two or three of you to come up with? That doesn't speak well for any of you. No wonder you and your clique stayed small-time.
[ There's a solid five seconds of quiet silence as he goes over the words a few times in his head, although he flashes a glare when Rhys starts doing The Eyebrow Thing. After he's pretty sure he's done, Vasquez just laughs, settling back in place to get comfy. ]
Oh, bullshit. You really think Hyperion would pick you? What have you even done to earn that? Like-- seriously. You're a janitor, buddy. I can get having dreams and all, but...that's just stupid.
[ 'Had' is a very deliberate word choice there, as deliberate as one can be while stinking drunk. A muscle in his cheek twitches, but he doesn't allow his intoxicated brain to drift to unpleasant topics. Retain the smile, Rhysie. It's all gravy, Rhysie. ]
[ His tone is flat and unimpressed, accompanied by an eyebrow raise of his own. But when Rhys drops that oh so special nickname, he scowls, curling his hands into fists. It's a very, very good thing that Rhys is nowhere near him right now! ]
See, I kinda doubt it, if I'm gonna be totally honest with you. Y'know why? 'Cause it sure wasn't hard getting them in my pocket. Sold you out pretty quick! I didn't even have to try that hard.
What, you think it was just him? Of course you'd find a way to talk it out with your weird little muscle goblin. I wasn't gonna put all my bets on one horse. [ Pause for both preening and effect-- he's gotta look good for when he tries destroying Rhys. ] Get your tiny brain in gear, Rhysie. You need a minute to boot up? 'Cause I'm not giving you one, so you'll just have to roll with it and see what you can figure out. You might remember Yvette, I think. Your other friend? Although I'd use that term a little more loosely, if I were you. [ Somebody looks pretty damn smug at the moment-- being that Rhys's fun was pretty well dashed right now, he's having a blast. ] Did it ever occur to you that somebody might be telling me where you were? Or did you just...not think about that too hard.
[ None of this sounds particularly backed by any degree of conviction as his eyebrows knit, ever-so-tellingly. It's still difficult to process things through the bourbon, but. This.
He always knew where they were.
He always knew.
Mission accomplished, Vasquez. His tipsy kokoro is brokoroing as they speak. ]
[ He grins, sharp and predatory-- for all the world, it's just like he's still in his nice new office on Helios, staring Rhys down and dashing his promotion to bits. Vasquez didn't really think he'd be pleased about being in Norfinbury, but it definitely did have one upside-- he got to do this again. ]
Money, Rhys. Dollar signs get things done, and you'd be surprised who you can buy with a billfold in the right spot. You ever had that kind of hold on somebody? 'Course not, who am I kidding. Lemme tell you, though, it's great. You can get people to do all kinds of things when you strike a good deal! Liiike...track their friends and give you the info on their every step in exchange for a cut of the reward money, for example. People really, really feel it when you get 'em by the wallet. Perfect way to get what you want.
[ Vasquez gives a pleased sigh at the thought, looking an infuriating mixture of incredibly self-assured and amused. But his focus shifts back to Rhys again, and the wistful smile on his face turns knifelike all too easily. ]
So, for a little play-by-play-- your friends betrayed you for money-- and not just any money! My money. Past that, you trusted the wrong people, pissed me off yet again, and now you're stuck in Snowhell, as you called it. Even better, you"re in here with me! And you know what that means, right? I gotta make up for lost time and missed opportunities. But there's, like...months to do that in. Lots of months. We're gonna be at this a while, pal. You ready to see how long you can last?
[ The fun part of being drunk slams to a screeching, dizzying, nauseating halt. Rhys seems to sink into himself, looking awfully small for such a freakishly tall & narrow person. He looks offscreen, eyes fixated on... something Vasquez can't see for a good while as he listens to the verbal beatdown.
How the turn... tables.
He is going to throw up. Sooner rather than later. For now, though, he swallows hard and shifts his focus back to Vasquez. ]
I'll have to... deal with that -- her. [ If it's true. Of course it's true, kiddo. What've I told you since day one? Another quick look offscreen. Someone is smirking at him. Someone else. No, don't look at him. Don't validate him. Back to Vasquez. ] Eventually. [ His face is as hardened as he can muster. ] But... shhhhhut up for a second. Did they... [ d i z z y ] they ever tell you? What was in my head? What was sooooo important? You -- you know, you'd think, if you mattered at all they'd have told you.
[ That's a detail that Vasquez hasn't been privy to. Whatever it was, though, it had been important-- important enough for the reward offered to be far more than the money he'd embezzled. He'd have to have been dead to not try getting what Rhys had with that in mind, but he hadn't known exactly what he was after either way. ] [ Not for the first time, the uncertainty poses something of a problem. His brow furrows, but he still manages a sneer. ]
Only reason you mattered is 'cause you got lucky and found something important, Rhys. Where do you think you'd be without it? I don't care what it was. [ He does, though, he really does-- ] It's not gonna help you now. And y'know, even though Hyperion thought it was the most important thing-- it really doesn't change the fact that at the end of the day, you're just another middle manager who didn't make it big, and never will. How's that feel? [ One thing is clear, though-- he's dodging the question. Even drunk, Rhys can probably figure out why. ]
[ He opens his mouth but is cut off by a roboscree coming from offscreen. He moves sluggishly, as if struggling with gravity itself, but seems to think better of it.
Rhys looks at Vasquez.
Back offscreen.
Then he simply leans back as Dumpy floats across the camera, projecting a tiny, incredibly familiar blue ex CEO,
Handsome Jack's tiny hologram brandishes dual fingerguns as he floats on by. ]
[ The second he hears that screaming, Vasquez's blood pressure practically skyrockets. He already knew about Dumpy from a brief glimpse with Angel, but-- the combination of Rhys and his tiny screeching tin can is nudging up on too much for his effort at composure to take. He's been doing pretty well so far, but there's liable to be some yelling coming up on the forecast at this rate, and he wants to not. He'd had the better of Rhys for a while there, and he's not going to give his nemesis the satisfaction of flying off the handle. ] [ The fingerguns sting, though, partially because of the image used and partially for-- some other reason he's not willing to linger on for long. His frown twitches into a deep scowl, and the look in his eyes is outright murder; once his gaze flicks back up to Rhys after Jack's gone offscreen again, he's locked on target. Vasquez has no idea what kind of bullshit this is, but it isn't coming across as anything more than a fancy parlor trick yet-- and his annoyance is building pretty high. ]
Cool. Awesome. You've got yourself a hologram! Big deal. You get it to do anything else besides that, or can you not even program these things right? [ He gets the feeling that there's something more to this little display, but he's already too frustrated to think about it too much. Nice job, Hugo. Underestimating Rhys was easier, anyway. ]
[ One thing Jack does not like -- on a massive laundry list of things, but at the friggen' top -- is to be belittled. Dumpy jerks back intro frame, dizzy and confused. Which. Is his natural state, really.
But Jack. Jack is front and center. ]
'Wallethead, my ol' chumbucket -- are you? Doubting? My authenticity? Is that a thing that's happening right now?'
[ Rhys tilts his head and musters up a smirk. This is not the card he wanted to play, but it's a strong one, and he's responsible for pulling Dumpy back.
Jack is close enough to dominate the screen despite the small size. His voice is part jovial, all poison, and max reverb. ]
[ A flurry of questions come bubbling up to the forefront of his mind all at once-- how did Rhys know that nickname, anyway? How did this...Jack know that? How had Rhys managed this-- he hadn't seen much of anything in Norfinbury yet that would've contributed toward making any of what he's seeing here. Would that mean that this Jack had been brought from home-- and if so, what the hell? ] [ This...was probably the thing he'd been trying to retrieve. While Vasquez could guess what Hyperion would've wanted with a simulacrum of Handsome Jack himself, there were still a few gaps in the equation that were making the conclusion a bit too uncertain for his liking. ]
[ He sucks in a breath through his teeth, jaw clenched tight. As far as he knew, this wasn't the boss he'd known and loved, but-- Rhys was probably planning something. He'd play along for now, in the hopes that he could get some more information in the process for later. If this was all part of some trick, he'd get the better of Rhys eventually; he just had to wait it out until mistakes were made, and then he'd put an end to this. ] [ How dare he use Jack's image, anyway? The fucking gall-- ]
It's-- You're a little different than I remember, boss. [ 'YOU'RE A FEW INCHES TALL AND BLUE AND THAT'S A BIG DIFFERENCE,' but that goes unsaid. Presently, at least. ] And you're apparently shacked up with Helios' number one failure, which is...kinda surprising? You know what you're doing, though. Not second-guessing you or anything. [ --as he adds hurriedly. Vasquez liked to think he knew where the thin ice was with Jack, but he wasn't going to bank on it too much here. ] [ Quite literally the only reason he wasn't losing his shit over the Jackness of the situation is because of the whole...hologram thing. It just wasn't the same-- how was a projection gonna punch anyone? Even then, Vasquez's expression shifts to an odd sort of cringe, and he can't help but fidget in place. No matter how small and what color, Jack was...still intimidating. Despite his best efforts, there was some genuine discomfort present, although he wasn't going to brace himself for impact. He had to get to the bottom of whatever Rhys was planning, and he wasn't going to do that if he was too busy getting tied up in knots over knee-jerk responses to things that couldn't even happen. ]
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[ Rhys' smile gets wider by a few teeth and he snorfles, which turns into a vaguely sickly cough. ]
I saw th' future. The future back home.
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[ He crosses his arms, shifting just a little so he can get a real good angle on himself-- Vasquez is trying to show off the fact that he doesn't look anywhere near as rough as Rhys does, although whether it's out of an intimidation thing or what is...not as clear. ]
Well, if you've been waiting all this time, by all means! Go on ahead, Rhysie. Tell me aaall about your fun little future-vision crap you've gone and planned for yourself-- I could use a good laugh.
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[ A grandiose, entirely pointless gesture with his one remaining twig-arm. Gotta add some flourish to this tale! For some reason! ]
So! I make it back up t'Helios, and. Turns out Hyperion has a new Per-esident.
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[ Vasquez shakes his head, chuckling a little to himself. He's definitely not gonna sit down-- nothing Rhys can say is gonna throw him off. ]
Of course Hyperion is gonna get a new president, you desk gremlin. You think we'd just leave that spot empty?
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[ He does the Eyebrow thing just then, getting a few good waggles in before continuing. ]
But I can cut riiiiight to it. Jus' for you. Th... that reple-acement? That new Prez?
[ Pause. Smile. Head tilt. He leans closer just for this. ]
You're looking at him.
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[ There's a solid five seconds of quiet silence as he goes over the words a few times in his head, although he flashes a glare when Rhys starts doing The Eyebrow Thing. After he's pretty sure he's done, Vasquez just laughs, settling back in place to get comfy. ]
Oh, bullshit. You really think Hyperion would pick you? What have you even done to earn that? Like-- seriously. You're a janitor, buddy. I can get having dreams and all, but...that's just stupid.
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[ 'Had' is a very deliberate word choice there, as deliberate as one can be while stinking drunk. A muscle in his cheek twitches, but he doesn't allow his intoxicated brain to drift to unpleasant topics. Retain the smile, Rhysie. It's all gravy, Rhysie. ]
How d'you think I found out about Wallethead?
[ Tempting fate here. He can't resist. ]
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[ His tone is flat and unimpressed, accompanied by an eyebrow raise of his own. But when Rhys drops that oh so special nickname, he scowls, curling his hands into fists. It's a very, very good thing that Rhys is nowhere near him right now! ]
See, I kinda doubt it, if I'm gonna be totally honest with you. Y'know why? 'Cause it sure wasn't hard getting them in my pocket. Sold you out pretty quick! I didn't even have to try that hard.
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I already... Vaughn told me about the thing, he's. We're fine. It's cool. You can't hurt me with that.
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[ Pause for both preening and effect-- he's gotta look good for when he tries destroying Rhys. ]
Get your tiny brain in gear, Rhysie. You need a minute to boot up? 'Cause I'm not giving you one, so you'll just have to roll with it and see what you can figure out.
You might remember Yvette, I think. Your other friend? Although I'd use that term a little more loosely, if I were you. [ Somebody looks pretty damn smug at the moment-- being that Rhys's fun was pretty well dashed right now, he's having a blast. ]
Did it ever occur to you that somebody might be telling me where you were? Or did you just...not think about that too hard.
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[ None of this sounds particularly backed by any degree of conviction as his eyebrows knit, ever-so-tellingly. It's still difficult to process things through the bourbon, but. This.
He always knew where they were.
He always knew.
Mission accomplished, Vasquez. His tipsy kokoro is brokoroing as they speak. ]
Why would sh... she do that?
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[ He grins, sharp and predatory-- for all the world, it's just like he's still in his nice new office on Helios, staring Rhys down and dashing his promotion to bits. Vasquez didn't really think he'd be pleased about being in Norfinbury, but it definitely did have one upside-- he got to do this again. ]
Money, Rhys. Dollar signs get things done, and you'd be surprised who you can buy with a billfold in the right spot.
You ever had that kind of hold on somebody? 'Course not, who am I kidding. Lemme tell you, though, it's great. You can get people to do all kinds of things when you strike a good deal! Liiike...track their friends and give you the info on their every step in exchange for a cut of the reward money, for example. People really, really feel it when you get 'em by the wallet. Perfect way to get what you want.
[ Vasquez gives a pleased sigh at the thought, looking an infuriating mixture of incredibly self-assured and amused. But his focus shifts back to Rhys again, and the wistful smile on his face turns knifelike all too easily. ]
So, for a little play-by-play-- your friends betrayed you for money-- and not just any money! My money. Past that, you trusted the wrong people, pissed me off yet again, and now you're stuck in Snowhell, as you called it. Even better, you"re in here with me! And you know what that means, right? I gotta make up for lost time and missed opportunities. But there's, like...months to do that in. Lots of months.
We're gonna be at this a while, pal. You ready to see how long you can last?
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How the turn... tables.
He is going to throw up. Sooner rather than later. For now, though, he swallows hard and shifts his focus back to Vasquez. ]
I'll have to... deal with that -- her. [ If it's true. Of course it's true, kiddo. What've I told you since day one? Another quick look offscreen. Someone is smirking at him. Someone else. No, don't look at him. Don't validate him. Back to Vasquez. ] Eventually. [ His face is as hardened as he can muster. ] But... shhhhhut up for a second. Did they... [ d i z z y ] they ever tell you? What was in my head? What was sooooo important? You -- you know, you'd think, if you mattered at all they'd have told you.
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[ Not for the first time, the uncertainty poses something of a problem. His brow furrows, but he still manages a sneer. ]
Only reason you mattered is 'cause you got lucky and found something important, Rhys. Where do you think you'd be without it? I don't care what it was. [ He does, though, he really does-- ] It's not gonna help you now.
And y'know, even though Hyperion thought it was the most important thing-- it really doesn't change the fact that at the end of the day, you're just another middle manager who didn't make it big, and never will. How's that feel?
[ One thing is clear, though-- he's dodging the question. Even drunk, Rhys can probably figure out why. ]
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Rhys looks at Vasquez.
Back offscreen.
Then he simply leans back as Dumpy floats across the camera, projecting a tiny, incredibly familiar blue ex CEO,
Handsome Jack's tiny hologram brandishes dual fingerguns as he floats on by. ]
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[ The fingerguns sting, though, partially because of the image used and partially for-- some other reason he's not willing to linger on for long. His frown twitches into a deep scowl, and the look in his eyes is outright murder; once his gaze flicks back up to Rhys after Jack's gone offscreen again, he's locked on target. Vasquez has no idea what kind of bullshit this is, but it isn't coming across as anything more than a fancy parlor trick yet-- and his annoyance is building pretty high. ]
Cool. Awesome. You've got yourself a hologram! Big deal. You get it to do anything else besides that, or can you not even program these things right?
[ He gets the feeling that there's something more to this little display, but he's already too frustrated to think about it too much. Nice job, Hugo. Underestimating Rhys was easier, anyway. ]
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But Jack. Jack is front and center. ]
'Wallethead, my ol' chumbucket -- are you? Doubting? My authenticity? Is that a thing that's happening right now?'
[ Rhys tilts his head and musters up a smirk. This is not the card he wanted to play, but it's a strong one, and he's responsible for pulling Dumpy back.
Jack is close enough to dominate the screen despite the small size. His voice is part jovial, all poison, and max reverb. ]
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[ A flurry of questions come bubbling up to the forefront of his mind all at once-- how did Rhys know that nickname, anyway? How did this...Jack know that? How had Rhys managed this-- he hadn't seen much of anything in Norfinbury yet that would've contributed toward making any of what he's seeing here. Would that mean that this Jack had been brought from home-- and if so, what the hell? ]
[ This...was probably the thing he'd been trying to retrieve. While Vasquez could guess what Hyperion would've wanted with a simulacrum of Handsome Jack himself, there were still a few gaps in the equation that were making the conclusion a bit too uncertain for his liking. ]
[ He sucks in a breath through his teeth, jaw clenched tight. As far as he knew, this wasn't the boss he'd known and loved, but-- Rhys was probably planning something. He'd play along for now, in the hopes that he could get some more information in the process for later. If this was all part of some trick, he'd get the better of Rhys eventually; he just had to wait it out until mistakes were made, and then he'd put an end to this. ]
[ How dare he use Jack's image, anyway? The fucking gall-- ]
It's-- You're a little different than I remember, boss. [ 'YOU'RE A FEW INCHES TALL AND BLUE AND THAT'S A BIG DIFFERENCE,' but that goes unsaid. Presently, at least. ] And you're apparently shacked up with Helios' number one failure, which is...kinda surprising? You know what you're doing, though. Not second-guessing you or anything. [ --as he adds hurriedly. Vasquez liked to think he knew where the thin ice was with Jack, but he wasn't going to bank on it too much here. ]
[ Quite literally the only reason he wasn't losing his shit over the Jackness of the situation is because of the whole...hologram thing. It just wasn't the same-- how was a projection gonna punch anyone? Even then, Vasquez's expression shifts to an odd sort of cringe, and he can't help but fidget in place. No matter how small and what color, Jack was...still intimidating. Despite his best efforts, there was some genuine discomfort present, although he wasn't going to brace himself for impact. He had to get to the bottom of whatever Rhys was planning, and he wasn't going to do that if he was too busy getting tied up in knots over knee-jerk responses to things that couldn't even happen. ]